Entry: In Loki's Defense Thursday, November 01, 2007

Is it any wonder that Loki Laufeyiarson was so mischievous and evil?

Consider these facts: Loki was (or is) one of the most handsome—if not the most—Aesir. Well at least he was (is) good looking. You gotta admit that, at least. On top of that he’s got one hell of a brain inside his fiery head and with that brain he often saved the day and the asses of those pompous Aesir. I can imagine how the other Aesir got jealous of his looks and brains. Let’s face it man, he’s got it all! Asyniur will fall for his charm and looks alone! Trust me on this.

Nobody would actually spend the night with I-am-oh-so-mighty Thor with his divinely boring talks about hunting trolls and giant killing and his expanding hammer. Freyr was (is) a flake after his cancelled wedding. Odin was (is) not much of a talker and his one eye is frightening for some. Heimdall was (is) too childish with nine mothers doting on his every wish and whim. And Bragi? C’mon man, that one is a pansy. He’d be more interested talking to—and admiring—Thor and the other Aesir  than Asyniur. Baldr was (is) too full of himself what with his invincibility and all. Tyr only interested in war and conquest (it’s like boys who always want to talk about his favorite football team all the time).  That leaves those Asyniur babes with only Loki, right?

Consider this: when Val-hall was built, the builder was a giant wishing for the hands of Freiya when (if) he finished building the infernally huge castle in three seasons.

 But those friggin’ Aesir give him only one winter to finish. One fucken winter!! That guy asked for three seasons’ time and those ‘divine’ Aesir give him one measly winter to finish the construction.

 Man, these gods really were (are) a jealous bunch, weren’t (aren’t) they? They just couldn’t bear the fact that there was (is) somebody better than them. The giant was, of course, disguised as an ordinary builder, and the gods didn’t recognize him for who he really was despite his shoe size.

So, with the help of his magical horse (the only living help he could get) the disguised giant almost made it. Those Aesir were in deep shit. A divine one, but deep shit nonetheless. If Freiya went with this guy, this…this nobody from who knows where, why, there would be no Asyniur they can gawk at, would there? Everybody knows how divinely beautiful Freiya was (is)! Beautiful, fierce, and those eyes, lips, breasts, hips, nipples…

…where was I?

Oh, yeah. Freiya. If she’s gone then those Aesir wouldn’t have anyone to peep at when she’s bathing, would they? So no, they would not—could not let this nobody from nowhere take their Freiya.

So who do they turn to? You guessed it: our dear friend Loki. They demanded that Loki found some way to obstruct the construction of the mighty Val-hall since it was he who permitted the man to get assistance from his horse. But, hey, Loki was only being kind. Who in the right mind demanded a castle as big as Val-hall to be built in one season without any help? That would be utter madness!

Loki just smiled his amiable smile (this was before his mouth was sewn shut, but that’s another story) and agreed to do all he can to slow down the construction. He transmogrified himself into a mare (did I tell you he’s also a shapechanger? Well he was [is]) and seduced the stallion. To cut the long story short, he succeeded. The stallion went mad with love, the construction came to a halt, the giant was exposed and exterminated by Thor, and the Aesir are happy they can still peep at Freiya.

Loki got pregnant, by the way, and gave birth to an eight-legged horse we know as Sleipnir. But did he raise his son, the fruit of his loin? No, the Aesir took Sleipnir away into Odin’s stable saying that this fine stallion who rode faster than the wind should carry the venerable Allfather.

Loki just smiled his charming smile, but the mother in him was shaken. And he became mischievous, though he could still fix his mischief.

Loki also had other offsprings. From the giant Angrboda he had three children: Fenriswolf, Iormungand (Midgard Serpent), and Hel. All of them monstrous, one a gigantic wolf who bit off Tyr’s right hand and imprisoned under a mountain, one a humongous serpent who was thrown into the sea where he coiled his length around the world, and the last was part girl-part zombie creature who was thrown to Niflheim by Odin.

All through this he just smiled, but the father in him was taken aback. And he became full of hatred with the Aesir, though he hid it and hid it well at the expense of his escalating mischievousness and being called evil by the Aesir.

And then he learned that Thor one day went fishing and caught Iormungand. Thor glared his patented fierce glare at Iormungand, and when the serpent slid back to the bottom of the sea Thor threw his hammer and supposedly hit Iormungand’s head, but apparently the serpent is alright, maybe Thor missed his throw but would not admit it.

That did it. Loki Laufeyiarson had enough. The Aesir had to pay and pay dearly. He knew that Baldr the Invincible was (is) the Aesir’s favorite, and if Baldr was to be taken away from them, it would be a sore blow for the Aesir in Ragnarok.

So he tricked Frigg into telling him the only thing that can harm Baldr. ‘Weapons and wood will not hurt Baldr. I have received oaths from them all,’ said the Queen of the Aesir, ‘but there grows a shoot of a tree to the west of Val-hall. It is called mistletoe. It seemed young to me to demand the oath from.’


And everybody knows how Loki plucked and sharpened the mistletoe’s twig. How he guided blind Hod to aim at Baldr (the Aesir, in their arrogance, love to throw weapons at Baldr, and, being invincible, no weapon can harm him). How Baldr died with a mistletoe twig sticking out of his left big toe (this shows how lame Hod really is. Loki guided Hod’ shot and he can only hit Baldr’s big toe? Sheesh!)

But Odin sent one of his sons to Niflheim to plea with Hel so that Baldr could return to life. Hel said Baldr will return to life if all things living or not would weep for him. And all things living or not did wept for Baldr. All but one old crone sitting on a stone beside the road.

And so Baldr stayed in Hel.

You can safely bet all your riches that the old crone was Loki in disguise.

But the Aesir hunt Loki and caught him and imprisoned and tortured him for what he did to Baldr. And to think that Loki never raised a finger when the Aesir took and did as they will to his four children.

And you still wonder why Loki Laufeyiarson is so mischievous and evil?




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